Today was a rare day.

Nove (pronounced nova) did not have school but her sister did, and on top of this, Nove was in a good mood to start the day out.

In case you haven’t gotten familiar with NoveMber, she has Autism and Oppositional Defiance issues. These make it hard for her to effectively communicate to us at times and when she gets frustrated, she becomes angry and lashes out.

Today was not this way at all which made for a grand and exciting day! It is easy to forget that my skinny little six year old has a sense of humor and sense of fun because most often she is too busy doing things her own way and being angry. It probably helped that her big sister wasn’t around to pick at her and be a constant thorn in her side like most other days.

We took a trip into town after she played some games on the computer and she was pleasant and not demanding at all. She was excited and a little apprehensive because we were going to a new park that she had not been to before. Some days this would have been a fight because it was new and out of her regular pattern of daily life. Today though, she was all sunshine and fluffy clouds. She cracked some jokes and spoke plain and understandably clear English both of which is not always typical and you’ll see what I mean later.

We got through lunch after an hour of playing at the park on the equipment without a break down and she actually ate almost everything on her plate. She normally eats well, but not on a regular schedule which is probably why she’s thin and we are not. (They say if you only eat when you are hungry and never when you are not that you will stay thin)

She wasn’t ready to go home so we decided to go to a local store that we don’t get to often and she spent a good half hour pushing the cart all over the store picking out gifts for her friend at school. She has one person that she talks about almost exclusively to the others in her class but I’m not certain that they are as close as her talk might lead us to believe. (She also talks about an uncle that is non existent and a whole second life in Texas that she has never in her six years as my daughter experienced!)

But I could see deterioration; slowly she began not speaking as clearly and was speaking to herself more and more. On the way home she became unresponsive and when I asked if she saw any airplanes as we drove by the airplane factory, she did not answer. I knew she had heard me.

When we got home she began talking to me again but it was in baby talk, without full sentence and with wrong pronouns. The word me when it should have been I.

I rarely get a good view of her on a bright day when all the fog is gone from her head and all the spitefulness gone from her soul. I really enjoyed the day and am happy that she still gets to come out and play once in a while, but it is also sad to see her go away again.

The feeling is similar to having a relative with Alzheimer’s who is lucid and knows who you are one moment, but then later does not even know you are related.

I look forward to more sunny days with her and intend to cherish each one.

 Jenn Brockman

I haven’t figured out if I’m ashamed to say this, but most mornings I would consider an offer on my eldest child! My 12 year old daughter has ADD and our mornings are filled with her yelling at us for little things, being rough with our pets, and doing impulsive things that she wouldn’t normally do once her medicine has kicked in. I breathe a sigh of relief when the bus comes at 7:15. I’m often short with her, and mornings when my arthritis is scream full force (which has been, oh….. about 5 months straight now) I often yell back. This doesn’t make me feel good. I would never win an award for Mom of the Year. I simply do my best.

I’ve always known something was different about Kaitlyn. Her bio-dad was against me from the start. Needless to say, we’re no longer together. His idea of disciplining our yet to be diagnosed ADHD daugher at 2 1/2 years of age, was to yank her around and spank her. While I do occasionally lose my composure and spank her, I’m not proud of it, but I knew his way was completely wrong. When I have a gut feeling about one of my kids, nobody is able to sway me any other way!

It is necessary to take each day as it comes with no expectations of waking up to anything other than total chaos. I breathe my sigh of relief when she leaves in the morning, feel bad about that, and prepare to spend the rest of the day with my 4 year old. She demands a lot of attention, and really doesn’t understand that Mommy is really really sore and would rather not get up to get cocoa just yet. So I hobble to the fridge to get her cocoa. We manage to fill our day until my daughter and son get home from school. I haven’t mentioned him yet…he’s 9, and has his little hands full dealing with his big sister. I try to look on the bright side and think that his experiences with her will make him a better person. I hope so…..off hobble to the DVD player to put a new movie on…..

Dawn Klenow-Lampinen

http://packagedtoperfection.com

Thanks to our guest today, Lisa Callsen, we learned a lot and I was reminded that many parents and others are not aware of their rights and their children’s rights in regard to education so I’m including a link to more information about the Americans with Disabilities Act.

http://www.childcarelaw.org/docs/qanda-ada.pdf