Archive for the Category »parenting «

Can’t you get some time for you kids? revisited

By Jenn
02
Apr
2010
The more things change, the more they stay the same. My ex’s job has changed so many times I’ve lost track. The time he’s able to spend with the girls seems to dwindle more and more over time.  Here’s a post from last year on a particularly frustrating weekend. Things are still the same even though the job is different.
 
 
I’m sitting here at close to 6 pm on Sunday. My head is swimming alternately with it feeling like someone poured lead into my right side ear. So, the right side of my head feels very heavy and there is internal pressure and every once in a while my whole head tilts without my telling it to.  

I’m sitting here because the girls’ dad never picked them up. first it was Friday afternoon, then it was early Saturday morning, then it was this morning, and he called about a half hour ago to say he was finally back in town and would be here soon. He went back to truck driving cross country several months ago and it has been a disaster ever since.   Between 3 different companies, no one could get him home when they said they would. He hasn’t been here to help with the girls or give my mom and I a break that we both need.  

I feel a little tiny bit guilty here, because I know there are a ton of other parents out there who do not get a break. But this is about me and my family. they can vent on their own blogs, right? 

  Anyway, as much as it annoys the hell out of me to get screwed out of my weekend plans, it is harder on Nove Mber. She feels her emotions on a much more base level and instead of getting angry or disappointed over him not being  here when he says he will, she just doesn’t want anything to do with him. 

  Can’t blame her. It’s how I feel too. However, I know this is a reaction to the schedule being so chaotic for several months, because before this, she loved going with her dad on the weekends. He was the fun one, the playful one. He got to be super dad. Yeah, that pissed me off too. He got all the fun and I had to be the one with discipline and rules and schedules to meet.   Not fair. and I’m feeling it. and so is she.  

I think I will end this before he gets here and I tear him a new…. well, you know. I’m so angry and hurt for Nove, that I could just cry. Not to mention my own feelings.

Category: autism, parenting  Tags: , , , ,  Leave a Comment

Games, exercises, and general help – revisted

By Jenn
31
Mar
2010

We found these helpful resources last year that are worth looking at again. They may offer help and information for you and your special needs child.

Games:
Mouse Trail Fun animated online exercises to help kids with autism (likely for any child)

Exercises:
Fernridge Press Therapy for Behavior Problems, Learning Problems, ADD and Autism.

General Help:
Patient Advocate The National Financial Resources Guidebook for Patients: A State by State Directory of information for patients seeking financial relief for a broad range of needs including housing, utilities, food, transportation to medical treatment, and children’s resources.

 
Category: autism, parenting, products  Tags: , , ,  Leave a Comment

Do your kids act out before illness? revisted

By Jenn
30
Mar
2010
Back in September, I asked this question. And the same subject has come back up in our home. My daughter attempted to go back to school yesterday even though she clearly has a kick ass cold. It didn’t go well and her teacher made some comment about it being clear she didn’t feel well. We’ve tried to explain that if her behaviors change, illness is the first thing to check for, but maybe that’s hard to remember when you care for that many kids?
Anyway, here’s the original post.
This question seems to be answered for me by my own daughter’s behaviors over the last year or two. It wasn’t until we had a neutral party who could view her behaviors both in school, and out, that we were able to get some back up on our theory.

Here is a case in point;
Last Thursday, Nove had a meltdown at the end of the day when she couldn’t or wouldn’t complete some work before playing with her new found friend (the para teacher’s daughter). It turned into a kicking, screaming, walk down the hallway. Nove couldn’t explain to us at home what had happened until the next morning after she refused to go to school. Then, she could only explain a little bit of the issue.

So, yesterday (monday) she came home from her dad’s house with a stuffy nose and big bad cold. Now, normally, I wouldn’t attribute the cold with the meltdown since they were several days apart, but I don’t know for certain when she actually presented with the physical symptoms since she was with her dad for a few days and I didn’t see her.

But, we saw the same behaviors several times throughout the year last year and had back up from one of the case managers who was made aware of the situations. He was able to see it happen several times before school was out though none of us usually “see” it until she actually presents with a runny nose, fever, or other physical symptom.

Think about it this way, when you get a cold, you feel tired, achey, run down. You can tell someone what you feel. Kids with Autism or other special needs probably can’t. They often have verbal or communications delays or impairments, so when they feel run down, they may not be able to tell anyone what that feeling is. They may not even be aware that they don’t feel good, but only notice their frustration and anger levels are pretty low.

So, do your kids act out, melt down, or otherwize fall apart when they first begin to get sick?

 
Category: parenting, school  Leave a Comment

Like stars on Earth DVD winners!

By Jenn
19
Jan
2010

I drew #8 and #3 from the comments listed on the post about my review of Like Stars on Earth which you can see here.

#8 is Suzanne

#3 is Darleen Cox

If  I have had no response to my email within 2 days, new winners will be picked.

Please email me with your mailing address so I can have your dvd set sent to you! Click here to send email:

Category: autism, dylexia, give a way, parenting, products  Tags: , , , ,  4 Comments

Like stars on Earth Disney movie review & giveaway! Part 2

By Jenn
08
Jan
2010

Like_Stars_on_Earth_DVD_artThis film brought me to tears. Several times.
The misunderstood child breaks my heart thanks to the experience I’ve had with my own daughters.

* I am writing the review while watching the film, so follow along.

This story is not one for young children though my 8 yr old daughter did enjoy the music. It is hard not to identify with the mother in this movie as she battles with her own lack of understanding in why her son can’t learn what seems to come very easily for her older son. When it is finally suggested that her son has a learning problem, she is overridden by her husband who refused to have a “retarded” son.  His words, not mine.

I cannot say enough about the actor who plays Ishaan. His emotions are extremely clear and express a wide range from frustration to rage and pure joy. He is ridiculed by everyone. His peers, his teachers and his father.
Every new teacher seems to only serve to further demean him and I’m hurt to think there are teachers like these in the world even though I believe my own daughter had a teacher like this last year.

It wasn’t until this last year that I found out dyslexia isn’t just about seeing letters backwards. It is letters moving, dancing, and not remaining in a still position. This movie depicts this in a really clear way that anyone without the disorder can see and understand. At several places in the movie, whatever it is that he is trying to read, from a book to the classroom chalkboard, the letters and numbers dance around in front of him.

I’m hoping it gets happier soon, because I’m feeling hopeless for this poor boy. Maybe it is too close to my own story with my daughter?

Okay…. finally, the happy part! The new art teacher ( I think maybe he was on Oprah recently) gets the class singing and dancing, but it looks to to be too late for our sad and emotionally detached Ishaan who simply stares at his desk top through the whole dance sequence despite the instructions for limitless art.
Oh, I have not mentioned that art is this boy’s one saving grace. The walls of his room at home are covered in artwork. His brother buys him paints and it is the one thing he is accepted for and accelerates at.

There are so many details to this movie that even if I told you the whole plot, I doubt I could ruin it for you.
Basically the new art teacher turns out to be someone who works with children like Ishaan and who once was a child with similar problems (I think). Did I mention the art teacher is really cute? He is.

The story evolves and addresses not only the emotional struggles of the child and his family, but the legal and educational ones as well. Okay, so I’m smiling now through my tears. There seems to be hope……..

Indeed, just like a typical Disney movie, all ends well. The boy gets help and his father comes to understand how special his son really is.
The most important lesson? The boy learns how special he is regardless of what everyone else thinks, or in spite of it.

STREET DATE: January 12, 2010
Pricing: US: $29.99 SRP; Canada: $35.99 SRP
Feature run time: Approximately 165 minutes
Languages: English and Hindi; English and Hindi subtitles
US Rating: PG, For Thematic Material, Brief Violence And Language
Canadian Rating: G

You can buy this 3 dvd set next week (01/12/10), but you can also win one copy here!

There will be 2 winners picked!
For all comments left, you’ll get one entry to win. Winner will be picked by random.org based on number of elgible entry.
1. leave a comment about someone you know/love with a learning disability.
2. leave a comment that you are now following specialneedskidstalkradio.com – you have to actually follow via rss or email updates (upper left corder of the blog)

3. Post this to your twitter stream or facebook page!

Category: dylexia, parenting, products, sensory integration  Tags: , ,  20 Comments

Free article directory may be above board compared to others

By Jenn
18
Dec
2009

27I was offered the opportunity to review the home and family articles from Article Alley. At first I was unsure because in my experience many of the article submission sites are full of repeated false information. If not false, it’s often just misleading.

So, I took a look and am pleasantly surprised.  There were pages worth of information about the search term “special needs” and though I didn’t delve deep into each one, they look to be above the level I’ve seen on other sites.

One of the great things about this site is that you can use most of the articles for your own blog or online venue as long as you keep the author information in place.

 

This is a paid post, however the opinion stated is not influenced by the opportunity. Why isn’t it influenced? Because I haven’t actually been paid yet.

Category: parenting, products  Tags: , ,  Leave a Comment

Santa’s little helpers drive a fire truck

By Jenn
17
Dec
2009

About 2 weeks ago I got a call oen a Sunday evening from someone who said they were with our local charity organization that supplies food and gifts for the less fortunate during the holidays. She said my daughter’s name had been suggested as a family who might benefit from the supplies which included food and gifts. (I said that already, sorry)

So, she talked with me some more and asked if I had other kids so I told her about Nove, who has Autism spectrum disorder. The lady verified ages and then wanted to know if we would rather pick up the items or have them delivered by the town firefighters.

Are. you. Kidding? I almost jumped up and down myself because Nove LOVES the firefighters and their truck even though it has bright lights and a loud horn and siren. She’s been to the station with her school, tried on the firefighter coat and hat, and even stood in their humongous boots.

Tonight was the night! I had warned her that Santa’s helpers would be coming by and that they’d be driving a firetruck. She thought the elves would be driving it, and then asked if she could open a gift when they brought them.

After dinner, Gramma came down the hallway and said she heard something so we opened the door to flashing lights and 2 matching firefighters named Cory. Okay, not exactly matching, but they really were both named Cory. Nove wasn’t shy and was hopping and up down while showing them to the kitchen to put down the over sized box of food.

I asked if she wanted to go see the truck closer and one of the Corys put her in the driver’s seat, then they let her push some buttons which made the variety of horns blare! I feel bad for my neighbors tonight. She was giddy! I forgot the camera. Dangitalltoheck!

I really wish I’d had the camera because it’s been a while since I’ve seen her so happy. It made my day and I think it made hers.

Now, we didn’t exactly need the food and gifts, but, I tend to let my pride get in the way sometimes and have put off my own health care for far too long. If I don’t have to buy some groceries for a week because someone was nice enough to donate some to me, I need to learn to accept help no matter where it comes  from.  I also don’t have the money to buy the experience of the big firetruck, lights blazing with horn honking ability, even if it were available to buy.

That my friends is the Christmas spirit, small town style. 

100_1594Apparently this was a long day. She was out by 8pm. She even said “I want to get into my bed now”.

Category: autism, parenting, sensory integration  One Comment

All the pretty meetings

By Jenn
15
Dec
2009

Stress-AntiStressKitSo, today I talked with a coach about why my business has fallen apart. I blame it on my children. Isn’t that convenient?

Anyway, I explained that before this last year, I had no outside help for Nove. No group, no camp, no case managers and counselors…… And I had all kinds of Time!

Now, we have meetings, meetings about meetings. She has groups, and counseling, and case management visits (when her support makes it).

So, yeah, that’s why my business has been slowly declining…… I don’t have time! Even my weekends have been blown to hell thanks to the ex and his crappy job. He’s rarely here on weekends like he used to be because his truck broke down 4 states away, or he is stuck waiting on a load.

Speaking of meetings. Tomorrow is her 3 year evaluation. I’m not sure what’s up, what to expect, or what kind of bomb shell will be dropped. With all the school budget cuts, I’m afraid she’ll lose support and that will not be good. She nearly failed (well, she did fail) and got kicked out of school last year without the supports she now has.

We’ll hear from the new district autism expert though. That could be interesting. We had a meeting with her shortly after school began and we filled out a survey type thing….. kind of like a Connors assessment but geared for more autistic like behaviors. I can’t remember what it was called.

So, if we survive this meeting, then we get to go to her case management team’s official therapist for a visit, which is new.We are required to meet with her once  every 6 months even though we have a family therapist (for nearly 3 years now). She’s nice though, so it should be okay.

But, when am I supposed to get anything done? I have a car that needs major attention, I might not be able to drive to these appointements!

Walking won’t work in this cold. No. It. Won’t. Work.

Category: autism, parenting  Tags: ,  Leave a Comment

Anxiety meds one week later

By Jenn
15
Dec
2009

100_0628Are they working? The anti-anxiety meds  I don’t know exactly.

I’ve seen a different child in the mornings this week, but (it’s a BIG but) she goes through stages anyway.  So, maybe she’s really bi-polar and just on the upside of the roller coaster?

Or, maybe the medicine is working…….

Your guess is as good as mine.

Category: autism, medicine, parenting  Tags: ,  Leave a Comment

Anti-psychotic meds for an 8 year old?

By Jenn
09
Dec
2009

100_1531I took Nove to the doctor yesterday after months of discussion and worry. We talked to the doctor about having her start on anti-anxiety meds. She’s only 8 but has strong anxiety about everything. I assume it is  part of her autism. There may be some ADD also, but we have to start with one thing here.

Anyway, the medicine is an anti-psychotic (sounds lovely, huh) and while there is risk with any medicine given, if it helps her not worry about everything (I’m not exaggerating) , then it’s okay.

Of course I’m worried about it.

 It took me a very long time to do this and I hate pills or drugs, so it wasn’t done lightly. We talked with our therapist who has a son with autism and now that I think back, it might have been him who brought up the idea last year.

For anyone who wants to tell me what to do, I say, YOU come  live my life and see how well you deal with it. No, no, I’m kidding. That would probably just incite even more anxiety for Nove since she doesn’t know you.

I have some kind of anxiety myself. What am I doing to my children? They both are on drugs! But, I have to remind myself that it isn’t just me dealing with her behaviors, or lack of behavior. The school sees it, and her dad sees it on weekends and even my boyfriend’s sister who took Nove to the zoo saw it. Apparently Nove couldn’t go through a cave on her own, but they couldn’t turn back because there were too many people behind them.

So, we’ll try this for a while. Keeping close watch over her for added symptoms or bad behaviors exagerated.

Keep your fingers crossed for me, will you?

Category: autism, medicine, parenting  Tags: ,  One Comment
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