Today was a rare day.

Nove (pronounced nova) did not have school but her sister did, and on top of this, Nove was in a good mood to start the day out.

In case you haven’t gotten familiar with NoveMber, she has Autism and Oppositional Defiance issues. These make it hard for her to effectively communicate to us at times and when she gets frustrated, she becomes angry and lashes out.

Today was not this way at all which made for a grand and exciting day! It is easy to forget that my skinny little six year old has a sense of humor and sense of fun because most often she is too busy doing things her own way and being angry. It probably helped that her big sister wasn’t around to pick at her and be a constant thorn in her side like most other days.

We took a trip into town after she played some games on the computer and she was pleasant and not demanding at all. She was excited and a little apprehensive because we were going to a new park that she had not been to before. Some days this would have been a fight because it was new and out of her regular pattern of daily life. Today though, she was all sunshine and fluffy clouds. She cracked some jokes and spoke plain and understandably clear English both of which is not always typical and you’ll see what I mean later.

We got through lunch after an hour of playing at the park on the equipment without a break down and she actually ate almost everything on her plate. She normally eats well, but not on a regular schedule which is probably why she’s thin and we are not. (They say if you only eat when you are hungry and never when you are not that you will stay thin)

She wasn’t ready to go home so we decided to go to a local store that we don’t get to often and she spent a good half hour pushing the cart all over the store picking out gifts for her friend at school. She has one person that she talks about almost exclusively to the others in her class but I’m not certain that they are as close as her talk might lead us to believe. (She also talks about an uncle that is non existent and a whole second life in Texas that she has never in her six years as my daughter experienced!)

But I could see deterioration; slowly she began not speaking as clearly and was speaking to herself more and more. On the way home she became unresponsive and when I asked if she saw any airplanes as we drove by the airplane factory, she did not answer. I knew she had heard me.

When we got home she began talking to me again but it was in baby talk, without full sentence and with wrong pronouns. The word me when it should have been I.

I rarely get a good view of her on a bright day when all the fog is gone from her head and all the spitefulness gone from her soul. I really enjoyed the day and am happy that she still gets to come out and play once in a while, but it is also sad to see her go away again.

The feeling is similar to having a relative with Alzheimer’s who is lucid and knows who you are one moment, but then later does not even know you are related.

I look forward to more sunny days with her and intend to cherish each one.

 Jenn Brockman

I haven’t figured out if I’m ashamed to say this, but most mornings I would consider an offer on my eldest child! My 12 year old daughter has ADD and our mornings are filled with her yelling at us for little things, being rough with our pets, and doing impulsive things that she wouldn’t normally do once her medicine has kicked in. I breathe a sigh of relief when the bus comes at 7:15. I’m often short with her, and mornings when my arthritis is scream full force (which has been, oh….. about 5 months straight now) I often yell back. This doesn’t make me feel good. I would never win an award for Mom of the Year. I simply do my best.

I’ve always known something was different about Kaitlyn. Her bio-dad was against me from the start. Needless to say, we’re no longer together. His idea of disciplining our yet to be diagnosed ADHD daugher at 2 1/2 years of age, was to yank her around and spank her. While I do occasionally lose my composure and spank her, I’m not proud of it, but I knew his way was completely wrong. When I have a gut feeling about one of my kids, nobody is able to sway me any other way!

It is necessary to take each day as it comes with no expectations of waking up to anything other than total chaos. I breathe my sigh of relief when she leaves in the morning, feel bad about that, and prepare to spend the rest of the day with my 4 year old. She demands a lot of attention, and really doesn’t understand that Mommy is really really sore and would rather not get up to get cocoa just yet. So I hobble to the fridge to get her cocoa. We manage to fill our day until my daughter and son get home from school. I haven’t mentioned him yet…he’s 9, and has his little hands full dealing with his big sister. I try to look on the bright side and think that his experiences with her will make him a better person. I hope so…..off hobble to the DVD player to put a new movie on…..

Dawn Klenow-Lampinen

http://packagedtoperfection.com

I recently read an article in a magazine that was focusing on parenting children with special needs, specifically autism. The article covered many things and had interviews with several moms.

One mom expressed a huge amount of guilt in regard to her son’s autism. This was somewhat foreign to me because while I have felt guilt, it was not in relation to my being the reason that my kids have issues. I did one day, for a minute or two, wonder if my being severely dehydrated with my second pregnancy had something to do with my youngest having delevopemental and anger issues. But that thought quickly passed. I had no control over my pregnancy - well at least not over the dehydration part. I couldn’t keep anything down with that one!

I do however, experience guilt on a daily basis in regard to my reactions to the behavior of my kids. My short temper and outbursts shame me, but I am trying my best to learn how to cope better. My girls are resilient though, and it seems that no matter how awful I feel that I’ve been with them, they still seem to love me and I hope they know that I love them too.

I was talking with co-host Dawn last week about wether we remember the bad stuff from our childhood. Sure I remember some of it, but for the most part, I remember how much my mom loved me. She was scary in that she had a lack of control over her emotions, and for some good reasons, but while I remember those outbursts, the love, care and help I got from her with everything is what stands out in my head.

So, try to put your guilt to good use and change some behaviors. We all have to work but maybe instead of insisting that you do something right now - go play with your kid for a minute or two when they ask. Get your work done when they don’t want anything to do with you and quit beating yourself up.

Jenn Brockman Co - Host

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Special-Needs-Kids

My Dear Friends,

Hi, my name is Sylvia Hill and I am the mother of a wonderful young man, Kevin who is 17 yeers old.  Kevin was diagnosed to have bipolar disorder just a year ago, and our family has been grateful for the details we have learned about it.

 As many of you certainly know, having a family member diagnosed with a special issue, or being that family member brings unique circumstances to deal with.  One great way to celebrate the good days, survive the bad days and stay on your game all the days inbetween is communicating with great folks who go through the same challenges that you do.  Every day. 

That’s what I so love about Special Needs Kids Talk Radio and the site.  It’s been a healing therapy for me to get to know you all, and share my story. 

 It truly has been a journey for me to get here from where I once began.  It all began on my path to self-discovery  when I started asking questions.  One of them being, “What is intention and can it change my life?”  The answer is a short one.  Yes.   But, there’s a lot more to it than that.  As you know.

 Many scholars, world leaders,  and spiritual leaders have said that 2008 is a turning point on our planet.  I have been feeling this change in my life. 

Will this turning point be positive or negatvie in your life?  It is truly up to you.  This I have learned.  The more you  read and learn about yourself and the world around you  the more you are in tune with your journey.  Set your intentions on their way and watch your life change in the direction you want to go.  Support your family to do the same.

 With Kind Regards and I look forward to talking to you soon,

Sylvia Hill 

P.S.  Thanks a million Tamara for the opportunity to be part of this great project!