I’m usually very laid back and easy going. But since before Christmas 2012, I’ve been annoyed by everyone. Not just a little bit either. My co-workers, my kids, my mom, and even my darn dog.
With that said, know that there is snark, sarcasm, and some stress involved in the making of this post and that you have been fairly warned.
I think I’m starting peri-menopause.
Great! So, I’m on my way to becoming a dried up, boring, unenthusiastic old bag. Okay, maybe not.
My mom started her change early at around 37 and I’m 39 now, so it’s not impossible that this is the root of my frustrations with the world around me. I’m also under a lot of stress. The stress has always been there, but I think my capacity for dealing with it lately has been diminished.
But, because of family history, I checked into what peri-menopause and regular menopause looks like. Here’s what I found.
- More tiredness: finally my child at age 11 sleeps through the night, and now I can’t get enough rest, yet I’m awake during the night off and on.
- You may get annoyed at things that didn’t bother you before: it’s more like things that annoyed me before now make me rageful.
- You may think something is wrong with you: There IS something wrong with me! Maybe those symptoms were written by man who hasn’t gone through a change?
I’ve been forgetting things, and making actions that I don’t know I’m making. For instance at work last week, I entered $300 instead of $100 on someone’s card charge. Holy crapolo! Apparently the hormones that are being created (or decreasing) are messing with my brain by playing hide and seek with my thoughts.
“Menopause is the stage in your life where the body and mind are telling you to take care of yourself, to love and accept yourself.” HA, and HA! I can’t do this yet because I have a daughter with Autism, and another with Depression and ADHD. Are you kidding me? Not to mention, that if my brain isn’t working right anyway, how am I supposed to remember to take care of myself?
By the end of the day, I’m exhausted and don’t even have the energy to take a hot bath which was my go-to relaxation tool. “You have tended to and catered to everyone and everything around you for years, often at the risk of your own health and well-being. Now it’s time to start focusing on yourself and find balance with the changes you are going through.” Give me a break! No, really, I’ll take a break if anyone will come watch the kids.
Okay, this one cracks me up too. Apparently because I’m tired I’ll not feel like taking care of the house or cooking. Well, I’m ahead of YOU, menopause because I never did those things anyway! I don’t keep a house like Rosy the robot maid, or cook 3 meals a day when I’m in good health. Ohhh, someone suggest that I don’t have to be Superwoman anymore! Great, who’s going to play that role in order to get my kid to her 10,000 doctor appointments per month and communicate with the school and her therapists?
(the sound of crickets)
Yes, I’m being sarcastic. I don’t’ know what else to do at this point.
Some of the other information I found says to use exercise or relaxation techniques like yoga and mediation. I can just see me meditating… Maybe I’ll remember to charge $100 while I’m meditating, instead of $300.