I got to a place where all I could see was darkness. Lack of consistency from my ex husband in his schedule threw me off and, consequently, threw off my girls too.
I lost my grand father a few months back and it dredged up too many memories, both good and bad, that really did me in emotionally. When I realised that I could rarely find the good in situations, and that my misery was blocking out my children, I had to step away from focusing on disability and “special needs” all the time.
If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you’ll know that it isn’t just one of my kids with issues. It is both of my daughters, and my mother, all of whom, I live with. It became less of a home, and more of a prison. Coming home meant having to take over for mom who probably didn’t feel well and may have had her own meltdown, or was in the process of one as I walked in the door. Taking over, means trying to reason with or calm down my youngest with autism and console or reason with my oldest who gets angry when faced with anger thanks to her own ADHD.
I resented everyone of them. I still do a little. It often feels like I’m the only adult in the household and often, that’s not far from the truth.
So, I took some time off from writing and publishing the radio show at special needs kids talk radio. I may be back on a more regular basis, but don’t count on it with the holidays coming and school schedules changing. Just wish me luck and keep me in your thoughts.
Before I go for today, I wanted to point out that I’ve changed blogging platforms. Mostly because I needed the option to be able to schedule posts. It may well help in getting more writing done.
I’ve also signed up through several places to offer reviews and write sponsored posts, but don’t worry, I’ll do my best to make sure they still fit within the theme of this blog and I promise I won’t tell you I like something if I really don’t. Ever.